


Bromidic

by PatPrecieux



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 14:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: Sherlock's take on, ahem, appropriate gifts for his Valentine.





	Bromidic

**Author's Note:**

> Sherlock does NOTHING in a normal fashion. Why should Valentine's Day be any different.

11th February- A suspicious looking plant was on the floor next to John's chair. At first glance, it was lovely. Large, shiny midnight blue berries, and almost aubergine trumpet shaped blooms. Then- something clicked.

"Sherlock, is this Belladonna?"

"Deadly Nightshade, to be more precise. Poison, yet deceptive in it's beauty."

John harrumphed, "I'm making ALL the tea for the near future."

***~~~***

12th February- "Damn! HOW do I keep losing my keys?"

"It DOES seem to be a singular talent of yours, Doctor." With a flourish, Sherlock tossed John the missing item.

"What the devil is this? Is that a...a..." 

"Correct. A penis with wings key fob. Quite the good luck charm I'm told. It will be hard to misplace."

John flushed, "Bloody hell."

***~~~***

13th February- "Dark chocolate?"

John eyed the treat warily. "What's the catch?"

"Don't be pedestrian. I will eat one myself, you choose which piece."

After Sherlock ate the square, John unwrapped his and savored. "Good! Puffed rice bits?"

"Crickets."

"Crickets?!?!"

"You constantly complain about the racket they make when one is loose in the flat. I thought this a tasty revenge. Where are you going?"

"To brush my teeth."

***~~~***

14th February- "Sherlock, I know you don't usually care but, these last three days... have you been... is this about..."

Sherlock pulled his hair roughly, "Just say it John!"

"Right. Valentine's Day?"

"Bravo! The obvious deduced in only three days. Rather quick for you I must say."

John growled, "You REALLY mustn't."

"I've been reliably informed gifts are de rigueur, but caution is advised NOT to be bromidic."

"Poison plants, candied crickets and flying penis key minders. I NEED a bromide."

"Not a bromide- bromidic. Trite, banal, mundane!"

John tried to smother a laugh, "Well, none of this has been THAT." 

Stomping to and then back from their bedroom, Sherlock thrust a tissue swaddled package into his blogger's hands.

"Here. Happy- TODAY!"

Inside, John found a bright red pair of spandex pants. Across the front was emblazoned, "Caution Choking Hazard!" On the back, "I licked it so it's mine."

Looking up, John saw that Sherlock's face had gone several shades darker than the red of the pants, and his heart melted.

"So the last four days has been a seduction, after a fashion, with flowers, candy, a bauble and now sexy pants."

"After a fashion. It was my effort at being, shall we say unique?"

"Yes we shall. I love all of it and you. Only problem is, these pants are too big for me.", he said eyebrows waggling.

"Brilliant, amazing, remarkable. A correct interpretation, these pants must be magic."

"Don't know about that, but we can make our own magic. Let's see you model those for me, yeah? Oh, by the way, sure it doesn't surprise you that I didn't think you would want a gift, but these pants give me two excellent ideas, 'specially the back."

"But you don't... we haven't... I didn't think you would want to..."

"What? Rim that glorious plush arse of yours?"

With a dirty kiss and a firm smack, John propelled his lover towards the bedroom. "Get on with you and put on those pants. Seems I need to test them for choking risk AND explore new territory. After all, we don't want to be bromidic."

**Author's Note:**

> Chocolate covered crickets are actually quite good and DO taste like puffed rice bits.
> 
> The pants are a real thing from, I couldn't make this up if I tried, "JustaPiddlin" Men's Boxer Briefs.
> 
> Many World War II, vets brought the "Flying Cock and Balls" home from Europe. My godfather, who was in the Coast Guard Air Corps, carried his for years.
> 
> However you spend February 14th, hope it's a sweet day for you. ♥️ Pat


End file.
